A Mother's Day lament

I hate mother's day. It's tough when you no longer have one. Every other TV or newspaper ad at this time of year tells you to show your love to them by buying them something (and as an aside, seriously kids how banal must your life be as a mother if receiving a bucket of KFC from my children made me ecstatic on mother's day).

My mom died in 2000 as the result of a hit and run car crash. I almost lost my father too. All because of an idiot who was in such a rush at the end of the day that they had to over take on a corner, sending a van swerving out of the way and head on into my parents car. The bastard just kept on driving and was never caught. They had just been out to the local super market to pick up food, everything was completely normal, and then the next moment my mother was dying in wreckage, in a lonely country lane.

When it happened I was about to fly to Australia - I was hugely excited about the trip. But they pulled me off my flight. I headed to my brother's house, and we arranged the  funeral. It was strangely calm and a surreal week, and very thing was quietly efficient and organized. I was mostly just numb.

A few months later I was in a car crash myself. I say crash, but my car was stationary and the other car  ploughed into me caving in the whole side. The other driver slammed on their brakes and my car was at the top of a steep hill, but the damage was still substantial, so you can imagine the speed the idiot was driving at. It didn't stop the other driver from saying that it was my fault though. There were no witnesses on that quiet country road. Luckily just my car was trashed, but it shook me up, and I've been nervous about driving ever since.

In Spring, I am always reminded of what I have lost. My mother used to drive me crazy- mostly because she was so much like me, both in appearance and personality, just more so for the latter. But she also inspired me to follow my dreams, and to pay no attention to nay-sayers. We used to have great conversations about the the world: environment, politics, history. I miss that. She also inspired me to cook - but that was mostly because her cooking was so... uh... British and bland, that I started cooking for myself as a teenager. In 2000, I was just embarking on my career. She saw me graduate from university (the first of our family to do so), and get my PhD, but my life was pretty shaky and insecure. She never saw me settle down and buy a house, get made a professor, write a book. All things I would never have done without her encouragement as a child to think outside the box, to not be afraid of having crazy ideas dreams, and her pushing me to have the courage to follow them. Thanks mum. I love you.

So this mother's day, make the most of your time together with your mom. Tell her that you love her and you appreciate everything she's done and sacrificed for you, all the encouragement and support she's given - because life can be a fickle bitch, and you never know how much time you have together. And most importantly, treat her to something better than a bucket of frickin' KFC.