- We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
- No,
no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of
Academia? One, grading - no problem. We have TAs; we can avoid that.
Two, the department meetings, which you were clever enough to discover
what they look like, so in the future we can avoid them too.
- What about Tenure?
- Tenure? I don't think it exists.
***********************************************
- Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
- Have you ever considered academia? You'd make a wonderful adjunct Professor
***********************************************
- Beautiful isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to write this thesis defense presentation. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in my thesis topic. I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how this 204 slide powerpoint presentation makes you feel.
[Starts the presentation. PhD committee writhes in great pain]
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- HE DIDN'T FAIL? INCONCEIVABLE.
-You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means ...
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