Sunday, April 6, 2014

Inconceivable ... The PhD Bride

- We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.

- No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of Academia? One, grading - no problem. We have TAs; we can avoid that. Two, the department meetings, which you were clever enough to discover what they look like, so in the future we can avoid them too.

- What about Tenure?

- Tenure? I don't think it exists.


- Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.

- Have you ever considered academia? You'd make a wonderful adjunct Professor


- Beautiful isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to write this thesis defense presentation. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in my thesis topic.  I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how this 204 slide powerpoint presentation makes you feel.

[Starts the presentation. PhD committee writhes in great pain]



-You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means ...

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